Men and the Mother Wound

Men and the Mother Wound

"Any man who is consciously, actively working on his Mother Wound deserves support, understanding, and patience."

My name is Rick Belden. During my thirty years of exploring and chronicling the psychology and inner lives of men in my work as a poet, author, artist, and men's coach, I've discovered that many men are suffering, as I have been, from a form of emotional and psychological damage I have come to refer to as a Mother Wound.

On this site, you will find a short introduction to the Mother Wound as I define it in my work, as well as links to some resources (some from me and some from others) that can help you begin to understand what a Mother Wound is and how it may be affecting you as a man.

This information may also be of benefit to women, as an aid in understanding the men in their lives. Many women are also affected by their own Mother Wounds, so much of the information included here may be useful for them in that way as well.

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Overview of the Mother Wound

What is a Mother Wound?

A Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with the mother.

In some cases, it is the result of a mother’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the mother.

But more typically, a Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child’s psyche received over many years, often as a result of the mother acting, consciously or not, out of her own woundedness.

One of the most severe kinds of psychic wounding occurs when the child’s primary function in the relationship is to be used by the mother to meet her own narcissistic needs.

(Read more here.)

How are men affected?

The complex internal dynamics associated with narcissistic maternal wounding can have multiple effects and consequences that extend deep into the core of a man, rippling outward into all areas of his life and diminishing his ability to own and express his sexual energy and power in the healthy, creative ways needed to develop and maintain successful long-term love relationships and a working life that is authentic, heartfelt, and meaningful.

(Read more here.)

Why does it matter?

We simply cannot have an emotionally and psychologically healthy society without emotionally and psychologically healthy men.

Men being driven by the emotional and psychological energy of unconscious, unresolved Mother Wounds will continue to suffer, and their suffering will continue to ripple out into their relationships and the culture at large, until their needs are recognized, honored, and addressed in a meaningful and effective fashion.

(Read more here.)

Resources to help you learn about the Mother Wound

My articles and podcasts

The following information is available to help you learn more about my work with the Mother Wound in men (and women):

• Men and the Mother Wound (Article: Huffington Post)

• The Sources and Impact of the Mother Wound (Video: Conversation with Ross Rosenberg)

• Healing the Mother Wound (Podcast: The Man Rules)

• Healing the Mother Wound in Men (Interview: IRIE FM)

• Heal the Mother Wound and Discover the Man You Want to Be (Podcast: ManKind Podcast)

• The Mother Wound and the Inner Lives of Men (Video: Explorer Poet podcast)

• The Mother Wound in Men and Women (Podcast: Mental Health News Radio)

• Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds (Podcast: Real Men Feel)

• Are You A Mummy's Boy? (Article: AskMen)

My poetry

If you're a man with an active, unresolved Mother Wound, you may recognize yourself in one of the following poems I wrote while exploring my own Mother Wound:

• mom rules 1-4

• penguins

• disaster mama

• phantom mother

• mother junkie

• she makes the story

• someone who isn't real

• hungry mother

• red queen

• motherless son

• motherspace

• umbilicus infectus

• the grief I will not let myself feel

Additional Resources

Here is some information from other sources to help you learn more about the Mother Wound in men:

• 6 Types of Unhealthy Mother Son Relationships (video by Psych2Go)

• 10 Signs That You May Have A Narcissistic Mother (video by Psych2Go)

• Male Childhood Abuse, Mother Wounds, and Healing (article by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT)

• Men's Issues: Mother Work (article/interview with Michael Gurian)

• How does the Mother Wound impact men? (article by Dr. Mari Kovanen)

• Toxic Mothers: A Son's Guide to Healing and Moving On (book and website by Guy Arcuri)

• How To Recover From A Narcissistic Mother (article by Graham Stoney)

• Mother Wound: Am I a Traitor? (article by Dave DuBay)

• Healing the mother wound – Part 1: Understanding the impact of the mother wound as an adult (article by Dr. Mari Kovanen)

• Healing the mother wound – Part 2: 10 Steps to healing from emotional absence (article by Dr. Mari Kovanen)

• Narcissistic Mother (archive of website by psychotherapist Michelle Piper)

• Why aren’t we talking about abusive mums? (article by Corrine Barraclough)

• Men and the Mom-Wound (article by Steve Hauptman)

• Breaking the Mother-Son Dynamic: Resetting the Patterns of a Man’s Life & Loves by John Lee (Book review by Claire Nana)

• Inner Masculinity: The Mother Wound (video by George Stoimenov)

• Healing the Mother Wound in Men (video by Jonathan Clarke)

• Healing the Mother-Son Relationship Wound (podcast by Calin Saft)

• The Mother Wound – Were You Under Mothered? (article by Harley Therapy)

• Understanding the Internalized Mother for Healing Attachment Wounds (video by Alan Robarge)

• Healing the Mother Wound For Men (video by Stefanos Sifandos)

• Dealing with Damage from an Emotionally Absent Mother (video by Stefanos Sifandos)

• Healing Your Mother Wounds (video by Mark DeJesus)

• The Idea That a Man Who’s Good to His Mother Will Be Good to You Too Is Misleading (article by Tracy Moore)

• For Sons of Unloving Mothers, Confusion and Lasting Wounds (article by Psychology Today)

• Have You Met Your Mother? (article by Sean Hotchkiss)

You don't have to "just live with it."